Sunday, February 17, 2013

Still waiting.

Did you know that it's legal to homeschool in every state in the United States of America?  Laws governing homeschools vary from state to state, but in each state, you are "permitted" to homeschool your children.  In other countries, however, homeschooling is illegal.  And I have such a hard time wrapping my head around that.  Illegal?  To educate your own children?  What?!

But here, in this country, my country, it's allowed.  It's my right to choose my children's education.  We could send them to public school, to a private school, or to homeschool.  And I gladly choose homeschooling.  Sometimes, I feel like there are no other options because I couldn't fathom choosing something other than what we're doing.  Sometimes, I want to flag the bus down and put the kids on it...though, those days are often days filled with screaming, fussy kids and a tired, fussy mama...because it's never something I've ever really *wanted* to do.

And yet, I fall short.  I know what a privilege it is to homeschool my sons.  I know how grateful I am to live in a country that is still trying to protect some freedoms (I won't get started, I promise!).  And in spite of all that, some days, some weeks, I'm a perfectly crappy homeschool mom.  Lessons get rushed through, some get forgotten, some started but not finished.  Some days, I feel like I've failed.  Ok, to be honest, lots of days I feel like that.

But....(take a deep breath)....that's ok.

I'm ok.

I'm a good mom.  I'm a good homeschool mom.  There is no one on this planet that loves my sons like I do. No one on this earth sees them like I do, knows their strengths and weaknesses, where they struggle, where they succeed....no one sees what I see.  Every time Adisson learns something new about America and gets excited about it, I'm there.  Every time Zander reads a new book, I'm there.  Every time Jaxon recognizes another number, I'm there.  And every time, I get excited.  :)

Learning is an adventure.  Homeschooling is a wild ride.  It's not an easy task, it's not a simple choice.  But everyday I get up and decide to do it all again.  Because it's so worth it to me.  I'm still waiting to be that Awesome Homeschool Mom.  You'd think after so many years, I'd have it down...but I'm still learning.  And I'll forever be learning how to homeschool.

But I am a pro at loving my guys.  <3

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